Uruka Plays a Bear Nun and Rules on Viewers’ Confessions for 108 Minutes

PHASE CONNECT — Phase Connect’s Uruka (Fujikura Uruka) spent a 108-minute stream in character as the “bear nun” of a made-up Holy Bear Church, hearing confessions that viewers sent in as chat messages and Super Chats and passing judgment on each one. The stream was titled “CONFESS YOUR SINS TO THE BEAR NUN.”

The nun introduced herself as a cousin of Fujikura Uruka and insisted that the church belongs to its own religion, with no link to any earthly one. She opened to chant-style music, which chat took for Halo music; the nun denied it, saying the video game had been inspired by the old genre and not the other way around. When chat teased her for arriving late, she answered that being late is a sin and that she had been praying for her own purity.

“This is not a sin. This is stupidity.” — Uruka as the bear nun, on a confession about selling AI chips

Rulings followed the confessions as they came in. A confession of selling AI chips to a hostile foreign power because someone praised a jacket drew the verdict, “This is not a sin. This is stupidity,” and that the church has no power over governments. Admitting to cheating on exams earned forgiveness on condition of real study from then on, while buying too many seasonal collectible birds at a store was judged the sin of greed. A confession of stealing odd socks from dryers for decades brought a sentence to walk barefoot over pavement and gravel. A confession that claimed to speak on Uruka’s behalf was dismissed as lies and sent to the punishment room, which the nun said can be reached only when she sends someone there. Others she waved off as no sin at all, such as putting pineapple on pizza, or forgave outright, such as singing a pop song in Gregorian-chant style during choir.

The church’s one firm rule, the nun said, was that feet must be covered: no exposed feet, and no drawings or photos of them, because the bear god himself wears Nike Air Force Ones. Holy water, she said in answer to a viewer’s question, is the tears the bear god cried at the foolish things people do. Chat sent 82 paid messages over the course of the stream, and its “Abear” and “Amen” replies, a bear pun, ran through the whole of it.

Near the end the nun declared that the worst sin she had heard all day was the exposure of feet, and that she had worried for nothing. She asked for a moment of silence for the sins that had been repented, told viewers to go home and think about what they had done, and said she had been warned they were eager to repent but found it only mildly bad. She closed with a blessing and a prayer that viewers stay healthy and sound of mind and love Fujikura Uruka as much as they could.